Heaven out of the hell Vs Hell out of the heaven!!

I just read something very interesting 

“La mente es tu propio lugar y en sí misma puede hacer un cielo del infierno y un infierno del cielo”

" the mind is your own place and by itself can create a heaven out of the hell or a hell out of the heaven."

My case,,, 

I think im trying to create a heaven out of the hell 

maybe the reality is that im creating a hell out of the heaven 

I cant tell

I just know that I´m taking what I can 

stealing joy from third parties 

crying my own tears 

because of my own mind 

my own fears 

my own selfesteem

disguising my internal loneliness with my laugh 

and paying with unconditional love 

those little pieces of companionship 

But maybe...

and just maybe...

That Joy is given to me 

just because i deserve it 

and want to be given to me...

my tears should desapear 

with all those fears 

with my low selfesteem 

I should laugh freely 

because I´m not alone

because there are more people 

than what i think, that really care of me 

and love me 

And... 

maybe... 

what im getting are not pieces of companionship

maybe, is love!! 

Aaahhh...

yes,,,i wrote the next part a month ago...

i didnt know what was to happen in my life 

the next days

i didnt know God had for me 

that joy for a young woman 

i didnt know at all... 

i wrote the next part a month ago 

when i was to die again

in my own space 

without knowing out there 

the life was waiting for me 

when i thot i had beg and fight

to continue breathing 

when what i knew as my life 

threw me away 

then i lived 

then i had joy

then i laughted out loud 

and decided to see my world 

with different eyes 

and now im taking  

what i can 

reminding that I´m still a woman

and loving every minute 

with a different mind and a different view of my future!!

Hi Vivi,

Well...

i chose that bears hug bcz, maybe, when we receive it 

we are in need of that

today we are sick, we have some time to be stupid.

actually im writting and postdating it to my slf 

bcz i just realized that all the messages i delete from my inbox 

go a recycle bin and those messages after a month will get erased 

so what i want to know is 

if my heart will erase tht easy too 

or if ill be worse or better...

i like this postdated cards bcz they give me a view of how i was 

and how i recover 

Well... i really hope we dont need that bear virtual hug 

instead of  that we are having kisses and hugs 

hahahha.... im asking too much, i wont be able to find someone that fast

or not to find someone else but to be able to change my feelings and accept 

what is available...

just hope im better!!!

piedelmundo...