sábado, 20 de junio de 2015

Sick with Tales, Songs and Journeys

And here I am...
drunk till my bones
or dizzy with all those words of your songs, tales, or journeys
I take another drink of whatever is in my cup
look around and your are there.
you noticed I read all you have.

I turn my face to the other side
with a smile on my lips
to my Coffee Snob friend
I look at him while he is explaining something to me.
something I don´t hear but I move my head as I understood
He has the same look as you
glasses, fit, white, and the same language in his tonge.
watching him i think, For the next Dating site profile I will ask for no glasses
and on the reaserch will put average to overweight, or, I already got an overweighted guy and didn`t work neither. 

I can´t remember my friend`s name, something with a letter of the alphabet
but  the fact that we don´t have or share anything but the love for his language and the desire of leaving our countries,
he has a fetish with women stockings
I look at myself and what I´m wearing?, nothing like stockings which reassure we are not on a romantic date.
he continues with his long monologue.

I ask the waitress to refill our cups, ask my friend to stop talking too fast, and look at you again.
There you are with your new; young; cow, someone who could be your daughter, I wonder, how much did you pay for that? and, actually... What is your name?
something with an R or, A or, C or, D or, J or, A or, what? and a foreignor lastname, longer than mine; if any lastname could be shorter; from somewhere, I know you better than you do yourself, your life is described on those lines I read. And made me sick.

I have read your entire life on tales, songs. or journeys and got so sick till the coffee I´m drinking with my friend taste like alcohol.

Thinking of my dizziness I turn my face to S, interrupt him touching his arm
and tell him to look at you, -Do you remember the man I´m talking about
since I met you?
-yes, but, I can´t remember the name.
- Haha. S, good try,  but no, I didn´t mention that and I can´t, really, recall his name, what I remember is his life
He is someone missing someone, a writer, someone who loves to go hiking, a musician,  white, fit, a man who wear glasses. You see S, even you, have the same description. but; don`t worry; you are safe!
only if your name were Hugh Laurie or Adam Levine I could see you as that piece of flesh to satisfy my desire. but you are not, then as him you can think I´m on my jeans trying to find a girl for myself, you can call me anytime to drink coffee or beer and even spend a night together and nothing will happen.
S, placed a hand on my shoulder and laughed like crazy, - didn`t you desist on that,  lesbian, idea?
-I, sure, did. but my lace is not available for you nor for him, maybe for a night when my body betray my mind and want to call him, then I`ll wear my lace with stockings and...
The waitress interrupted the stupid conversation with S putting a bottle of alcohol in front of me saying "from the gringo"  I looked at the bottle and say - S? 
my friend break laughing and the waitress says; sorry, no, the one there turning her eyes to you.
 S; says, on his particular way- someone is trying to get your attention and laughed more when we turned our faces to you and you`re attached to your younger cow. 
- you think?, I say, changing my position to see you directly,  I think you`re in trouble, Constantine, he knows and suffered my allergies and a bottle of my fave vodka could kill me, He wants me death and you, in jail. Where is my shrimp? I ask to the waitress.
she comes to ask how I want my shrimp, - No, where are my shrimps from the gringo there, 
-no, he didn`t order  shrimps for you. she replayed.
S, had to go to the restroom, and I`m looking at you directly while you`re attached to that young cow lips with your eyes open looking on every prospect and reaction in the room, untill your eyes find my eyes, I smile at you, and you get dettached from her lips, I find in my mind that face I used to show you when I was grateful, took the bottle with my left hand and show you my allergy pill on the middle finger of my right hand with a sign and put it deep in my mouth on a fake sexy movement, broken with my laughter, but from my very  inside, the words "I love you" without sound came across my lips showing you I already forgave you and wish some of your charaters  to forgive me someday.

S,  is back and ask me what was that, I look at him directly and respond  - A sincere  and simple offer of friendship, I say, and don`t worry, If my mind betray me sometime and I want to call him, I will wear some lace and stockings but  I rather eat my hand, even when I hate masturbation so bad, so don`t worry... our friendship is safe!


Piedelmundo!!

mentes masculinas


Asqueada, apenas si pude tomar mi café 
dispuesta a devolver cada trago y olvidarme para siempre de la bebida 
tomo hasta la ultima gota y sin azúcar 
con este sin sabor en mis labios 
olvide mezclar el azúcar que se quedo al fondo de la taza 

asqueada continuo contaminando mi vista, 
mi mente.
miles de comerciales;
propagandas y programas, 
me deslizo suavemente bajo el ruido 
y el millón de imagenes 
al lugar de mi solitaria burbuja 

viajando en otro mar de imagenes 
pienso que Facebook decidió venir a la feria 
y sus creativos olvidaron enviarme mis noticias diarias, 
inconforme, 
cierro un ojo por si alguna noticia se filtra en mi muro y puedo leer algo mas que los traseros de los futbolistas 
o la espalda perfecta de alguno de los X men
sin hablar de los rostros y sonrisas
pero quien se fija en los rostros y las sonrisas?
cuando las cámaras tienen lugares mejores donde dirigirse en el cuerpo humano
por un momento perdida en alguna palabra 
tratando de pensar en mi propósito de la noche anterior 
o un par de horas atrás cuando logre conciliar el sueño
esta falta de cansancio físico me va a matar de sueño

aww... por que hay tanto silencio? 
si ese flaco esta dispuesto a seguir cantando para mi 
busco ese vídeo para ocupar mi mente con alguna letra musical 
mientras mis ojos saltan entre los remitentes 
pero solo escucho una música que no reconozco 
muy diferente a la voz de ese flaco
salto la barda de una pestaña a la otra 
y justo allí 
un comercial detenido por algún estúpido problema. 
me quedo complacida mirando el cuadro 
sin hacer un mínimo esfuerzo por arreglar el problema 
y solo me saca de mi hipnosis el ruido in tempestuoso 
de la camioneta del hermano de mi vecina
un arrogante rubio, pasado de kilos, que los estándares de belleza Colombianos lo posiciona como algo deseable 
y lo peor es que él se lo cree
a su encuentro llegan su cuñado y el vecino de al lado
cuyas figuras definitiva mente posicionan al arrogante como lo menos peor
al menos su barriga no parece de trillizos a punto de salir al mundo
y no parece contaminar el ambiente con el hedor de sus boxers al aire
y ante semejante espectáculo solo puedo cerrar mis ojos para no convertirme realmente en una lesbiana
y seguir teniendo gusto por los hombres 
El problema se ha arreglado y en mis oídos un comercial nuevo de Dolce e Gabanna
un cuerpo para deleitarse la vista imaginando el dulce aroma
ni me molesto en saltarme el comercial
seguido de esa imagen 
el vídeo que esperaba
deleite para mis ojos y mis oídos 


me detengo en el instante de la canción 
"thinking why does this happen to me"
Por que esto me pasa a mi 
por que esto nos pasa a nosotros 
los de las mentes masculinas?
tener que vivir bombardeados por tanto comercial
cuerpos perfectos 
estamos como niños obesos sentados frente a una pastelería francesa 
viendo los colores y formas de cada pastel 
cada caramelo brillante, dispuesto a ser consumido 
como el ultimo bocado del cielo entre nuestros labios 
para enfrentarse en casa a un plato lleno de lo que este disponible imaginando las formas y aromas en la pastelería francesa
 
en ese instante aprecio mi soledad 
ese espacio vació en mi cama 
las noches eternas, faltas de cansancio 
cuando los gallos de los patios vecinos me avisan que debo tratar de dormir 
para poder seguir aspirando a obtener algún premio de consolaciòn en algún momento
y saciar mi necesidad de compañía.

Después de haber enfrentado la realidad 
el amor no es una opción disponible 
luego debemos conformarnos 
y si debemos conformarnos
es mucho pedir
un poco de inteligencia? 
pero verdadera inteligencia no por sobre-lectura
la mente masculina es dificil de saciar 
y en este cuerpo femenino
con gustos femeninos 
hay una mente masculina!


Ha.... 
Piedelmundo!!






viernes, 19 de junio de 2015

Bajo el Agua


En un estado de depresiòn 
oyendo, viendo y sintiendo el mundo externo
me siento como bajo el agua 
donde nada se mueve 
donde no hay ruidos
y mis lagrimas se funden con el agua a medida que salen
trato de encontrar una salida 
pero cada ventana me presenta un problema
el miedo se va a poderando de todo mi ser 
y por mas que me muevo 
no puedo evitar ser cubierta por ese manto gris 

aqui como bajo el agua 
con mis ojos cerrados 
escuchando mis pensamientos 
viendo como se da gusto  mi mente en su tarea por atormentarme
retengo un par de lagrimas 
que vienen desde lo mas profundo
y el nombre que llevan es deseperaciòn
no puedo llorar de soledad 
por que debo disfrutar de mi soledad para hablarme a mi misma
no puedo llorar de dolor 
por que nada me duele 
no puedo llorar de desamor 
por que yo debo amarme primero para que los demas me amen
y si no lo estoy haciendo 
soy yo quien debe amar 

veo al miedo reflejado en mis ojos 
y esta vez 
como aquel que sufre sobre peso
cree que leyendo y viendo los videos de como combatir 
su enfermedad 
se queda alli sin mover un dedo 
yo me quedo alli 
deseando huir de ese miedo 
tirarlo todo 
y encontrar la manera de tener un poco de felicidad 
yo me quedo alli 
sabiendo que tal vez con un poco de meditaciòn 
con un poco de confianza 
puedo combatir 

pero esta vez el miedo se fortalecio
y yo solo me quedo alli 
como debajo del agua 
sin querer escuchar nada
sin querer ver 
sin emitir un sonido 
deseando que el tiempo pase 
y se lleve mi miedo 
que algo suceda 
o yo muera 
ahogada bajo el agua 

Piedelmundo..

miércoles, 17 de junio de 2015

Detained In Time.


Silently present in a room with my parents, hearing them while I write or read anything.
I open my eyes for a minute or two to smile about their argument or simple conversation about music, decades of changes, movies, fashion and nowdays customes. 
I continue there on my own bubble
apparently untouchable,
appparently far from the reality around me
Enjoying my thoughts of them thinking I´m not there 
I´m far and they can´t touch my mind.
but their words and thoughts get inside of my mind 
and share coffee with my neurones
make a party 
have an orgy
and after a while come to get me consciously with a questioning.

My parents are already on a different argument 
The time has passed 
but I keep the same posture 
on the same chair
thinking about the same drink 
same food I have everyday 
and that questioning from the orgy of my thoughts, views and my parents words filtered in my mind 
while I was cheating on myself 
with the image of appearing non being there 
with my windows apparently closed for their reality
my surrounding.

That questioning is the prove I´m there
sitting by them
on the same chair everyday 
drinking the same coffee 
the same chocolate with the same sawdust
the same type of news from the same font
and the same music in my ears

My parents are definitely attached to their golden years 
their music, they call real music 
their ways to see the world without thinking the world wasn´t how they think 
but who could pull them off from their ideas of what the world was 
what the world is 
what the world will be 

I´m not the one who could do anything 
I´m detained in time too
listening the same music 
If I want to hear spanish songs 
the same list come to my mind 



If I want to hear something to write then 
Ricardo Arjona, of course
Inspiration, ways to write.
the balsam for my loneliness

I hear other musicians too
other kind of music 
but for me to write and feel me 
In Spanish the ones above
In English
the 80`s and 90`s romantic songs... or a little part of them 
people usually get amazed with what they find on my lists 
as my favorite song 

I love it, It is so strong, but people don`t seem to have the same opinion about that song.


Of Course, I was 15  then...

and for the last 5 to 6 years...



mmm... My fave of that skinny guy




You got me bad, you really got me bad... 
I `m gonna get u back!! 
hahhahahahhahahahhahahha love the video!!



And of course I update a little of him 
hahahahahhah 

But listening my list, watching the videos
sitting on the same chair 
even updating a little my lists 
I`m detained In time
I wonder if after 10 years or more
when I`m 70 or 80 I will be arguing with my coffee about the kind of movies 
the music people would like then
the fashion 
If even now I call myself classic dressed 
If after a bunch of years I will find in the other side of the world 
a chair to drink my coffee every day the same way
If I will continue having my sawdust for breakfast and dinner 
If I will go in my own blue bubble again
to cheat on me again 
thinking I`m untouchable for the reality 
and the ones around me 
or the loneliness on my shoulder 

I`m totally Detained in time
and that could be why I was nervous of my world not moving 
and be in the same place with the same feelings for ever 
but even when 
I`m detained in time 
My world moves
the time barely leaves signs in my soul 
barely leaves signs on my face (hehe)
but signs in my mind

Detained In Time 
Enjoying my music
Having my coffee 
My sawdust
On my chair 

Piedelmundo!!





lunes, 15 de junio de 2015

Otro Que Es Peor... Another That Is Worse...


I`m not writing about what the song says, but what C.V. says at the end of the recording, "Tengo otro que es peor" "I have another that is worse" which I always repeat when someone try to make me feel gross by describing disgusting things, then I say something worse and laugh saying "I have another that is worse"... 

the other version of that phrase is when people tell me I`m too bad, then I respond "And I was worse before".


I´m not in the mood to explain why... things are what things are and we shouldn´t expect anything from anybody, good or bad, because the givers get tired of giving all the time, and people can change. 

I will leave it here... I, just, don´t expect anything good or bad from anybody, I, just, live my days laughing with the man of my life and the girl I love... 

hahahhaha... what a bad post, and I have ANOTHER THAT IS WORSE!!

Piedelmundo!!


A Stolen Poem, The Campfire in Your Eyes.


This is not mine, I wish, but no... my english is not that extended and perfect
I was waiting for a long time to post this on my blog but every time I come to read and write, this poem is touching my eyes asking me to be posted, I try to ignore it thinking the writer wont be happy but today I`m posting all I have there...
Yes, A.W. come and hit me with your words, yell on me, do whatever you want, but I will leave this poem there because you sent it to me, and you knew I like it as I do with most of your poems and tales but you sent this one to ME!!

Sorry A.W. but I like it because I imagine you, there, by the campfire.


Do not touch this poem, do not copy this poem, DON`T DON`T DON`T... read it, enjoy it and leave it!!

The Campfire in your Eyes


The smoke from the campfire
dances round my feet
and rises to my eyes
burnin’ the salt in my tears.


The wind keeps shiftin’
and I bounce around
from North to South
like a wayward compass needle


Each shift in position
interrupts my thoughts
of you and my memories
of your face and your eyes


that roll me like strabismus
and whirl me like a Ferris wheel
and bump me from log to log
like a toad without a princess


livin' this lily pad life wonderin’
if it’s time for ‘nother shift
of perspective from tadpole to pole
clearin’ the smoke from lidless eyes.

A.W.

I definitely like it...

Piedelmundo!!!

A Little Favor... april 6 2015


I really don´t know where to start...
I need a favor
a little one...

I wont start putting things bigger or give extended explanations for anything
It could be easier to ignore everything and continue walking
but...
bcz of how I felt this time
I need to ask for that favor



I know your intention is to show up
and my intention was to simply ignore you till the end of my days... 

Then, after analizing the situation
knowing this is very easy for you to make comments 
as it is easy for my mind to bring all those terrible months
and how I got judged by you, of being so negative and so...












I, really, don´t have to make a list of what happened
how those months affected me 
emotionally
physically
psicologically
socially




I´m under Re-construction
learning and enjoying my process 













For u..
I wish the best
so please... stay ok and FAR from me











When someone ask or talk about u
Everytime my mind bring u up, (11 months are not 2 days and u damaged me)
I´m not smiling




So... Please
stay ok and far from me
I don´t need ur comments on my things
as u can read and see how I evolve

Good bye!!
Remember...
Good riddance to you!

Piedelmundo!!!