domingo, 3 de noviembre de 2013

No... i didnt like the silence, i didnt like the distance... and i lost!!

ME gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente,
y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te toca.
Parece que los ojos se te hubieran volado
y parece que un beso te cerrara la boca.
Como todas las cosas están llenas de mi alma
emerges de las cosas, llena del alma mía.
Mariposa de sueño, te pareces a mi alma,
y te pareces a la palabra melancolía.
Me gustas cuando callas y estás como distante.
Y estás como quejándote, mariposa en arrullo.
Y me oyes desde lejos, y mi voz no te alcanza:
déjame que me calle con el silencio tuyo.
Déjame que te hable también con tu silencio
claro como una lámpara, simple como un anillo.
Eres como la noche, callada y constelada.
Tu silencio es de estrella, tan lejano y sencillo.
Me gustas cuando callas porque estás como ausente.
Distante y dolorosa como si hubieras muerto.
Una palabra entonces, una sonrisa bastan.
Y estoy alegre, alegre de que no sea cierto.

Pablo Neruda!! 

I Like You When You Are Quiet

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent, 
and you hear me from far away, and my voice does not touch you. 
It looks as though your eyes had flown away 
and it looks as if a kiss had sealed your mouth.

Like all things are full of my soul 
You emerge from the things, full of my soul. 
Dream butterfly, you look like my soul, 
and you look like a melancoly word.

I like you when you are quiet and it is as though you are distant. 
It is as though you are complaining, butterfly in lullaby. 
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you: 
let me fall quiet with your own silence.

Let me also speak to you with your silence 
Clear like a lamp, simple like a ring. 
You are like the night, quiet and constellated.
Your silence is of a star, so far away and solitary.

I like you when you are quiet because it is as though you are absent. 
Distant and painful as if you had died. 
A word then, a smile is enough. 
And I am happy, happy that it is not true.

Pablo Neruda.

No, i didnt like that silence and that absense... 
i didnt have the words to fill those spaces 
i felt my life was lost in there, not knowing 
what was there...
what was happening 
if there was something i could do 
but the only thing i got was 
silence and more silence 
absense 
and needed more 
and wanted more
trying to fill the need of my skin 
for that touch 
with his smiles
trying to fill the spaces of his kisses
with his words 
breathing 
and trying to live 
when he had my life in his hands...
the worst of all...
now i lost everything and dont have a minimum 
of hope 
dont have anything 
and im dead...
killed by his silence and his absense 
walking thru the world 
trying to think im alive 
trying to look up again

and...

I have to admit...
I didnt want to 
and was keeping a stupid hope on nothing 
just thinking 
that maybe 
i´m alive 
and can continue 
of course trying to move on but looking back all the time 

but now... 

im resigned... 
and the feeling is just terrible...
is like realizing that u wont smile again
that u wont love again
that u just live 
and move around bcz the destiny is not good enough to let you go...

me... someone who loves to laugh 
how im going to live without smiles?? 
how im going to live without a life??

I tried to move on 
and got found by an Angel..
An Angel that scared me with his words 
using the same words 
the same kindness 
the same way to tell me 
he will be waiting till i decide
to look at him.

Got envolved on a tale













and a poem... 

then a touch  and had to run away... 
because on every word 
i heard from the Angel
that tale 
every poem 
and that touch 
i felt him...


and just realized 
that i didnt get ugly...
Is that im not green 
I´m not available...
Is that im still in love with someone 
that see me horrible 

when i was building a world 
when i needed him 
someone that didnt want to understand 
my need and thot i couldnt think 
without him in me 
who thot i was moving strings 
to make him move 
when i was just in need of him 
when i was thirsty for his love 
when i was dying for his kisses 
and couldnt continue living 
without knowing
if I meant the same for him

Now when im totally conscious of my real 
problem...
I remember what i said one time
I love to write 
I love to make something beautifull
out of my words 
and i dont want to write 
i dont want to build a world with words 
anymore
i want to live 
and smile 
but that is denied... 
and since i dont bother anybody
with my pathetic love 
I´ll just continue writing 
puting my tears in the inkpot 
and write...

Piedelmundo...

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