Dont want to write

Today is october the 10th 2013...

there are many reasons i dont want to write this
1) wont be read
2) have to be in english
3) dont want to cont crying 
4) and more... 

How i feel?? sad... before i was sad to give my words and dont get any response 
then i asked to dont be read  and i got a response... 
now my word dont get read 
then 
why to write? is like to waste the mind
waste the tears 
waste a life when maybe out there 
i can find some eyes that want to read my smiles
some eyes that want to respond...
but is not easy when i see those eyes everywhere and 
my fingers want to write for you 

now i can tell 
i am cleaning my house and closing my windows 
not to leave...
i will be there 
but not waiting for you
just waiting for my self to decide how i am going to stop crying for you
if one day 
you decide to visit me...
dont even ask 
just push the door 
i mite be there smiling 
if not 
is because im already dead... 

love you!!

Piedelmundo...