My Pain is not your pain

I was drinking my coffee thinking of you 

opened my laptop to inform you about my sadness 

and i got the wistle from my phone 

i thot... ok i´ll see who is bothering 

is not who i want to txt or call me...

so...

then i realized i just bothered you for the day 

but i still have this feeling inside of me 

I have to admit... i mean in front of you 

because i did last nite for my self 

i have to admit i  was expecting you to at least say hi

then when i opened my eyes today 

after i went back on my sent messages (last nite)

i reminded 

everytime time i told you to finish the relationship 

after a couple of days 

when u called me i replayed and we continued 

because your pain, your laugh, your love 

was mine 

and i felt the same for you 

and couldnt live without 

no, all those feelings were nothing to be capable to live with 

all those feeling were my life 

NO, im NOT asking for you to come back to me as nothing happened 

i was just asking for at least say hi or stop bothering you... 

just to remind you, Im not Paulette 

and i didnt cheat on you

i told you to finish the relationship because i wanted to have you

but you were to buy the airline...

then i realized 

i can go there and cry at your feet 

and you would cont walking 

because my pain is not your pain

I´m crying 

and you dont care

Im thinking of you 

but you´re away 

I wish i can stop writing to you 

but i cant stop loving you

cant stop crying 

cant stop thinking of you

you´re not an inspiration for 

a poem 

you´re my inspiration for life 

you were my inspiration to raise a family

but now you´re my inspiration 

to cry...

I have to get over this... 

i know i must

but for now... 

i cant tell when...

and i will cont writing as i feel sorrow!!

Piedelmundo...

P/s:   I LOVE U AND I WILL 4 EVER!!

Those days...

This is one of those days 

when i open my eyes  and instead of saying 

tnk God for waking me up 

I say your name... 

I dont try to look on my phn 

cuz i know there wont be anything from you

This is one of those grey days 

I know the clouds are keeping the water 

because i´m holding my tears 

the breeze is cold 

and i want to think 

if i close my eyes and wish hard 

i´ll feel your arms around me 

This is one of those days 

i miss you more

cant stop thinking of you 

One of those days

i want to love you more 

to stop bothering you 

but no...

i´m sorry... 

i cant!! 

you are the one  

who loved the most

the problem is 

when i flew away from your arms 

i thot i did 

for our happiness 

i thot i  did cuz i felt alone 

once out there 

i realized 

Now i am really alone 

cuz im without you 

being alone is not being without anybody around you...

being alone is being without the one you need with you!! 

there is a kids song... called mrs Santa ana 

it says:

Mrs Santana why the baby is crying?

because of an apple he lost 

i´ll give him one, i´ll give him two 

i dont want, one, i dont want two 

i want the apple i have lost!!

sorry... 

i dont need  friends around me, i dont even need my family 

i need you with me!! 

Sorry but...

I know at the last moment of my life i´ll rewind the whole history  and i´ll say... yes i made a mistake leaving him, but i still told him all i felt and how i loved him... so i still will die with a tear and a smile !!

Piedelmundo

A prayer

Today is my mom surgery at 6 am

Hate me with your heart 

never think of me again

but please 

say a short prayer for her 

i know 

God hears you 

Please

i´m asking for that as a daughter of a person 

with a heart condition

to you as a son of someone 

with a heart condition too 

please!! 

Piedelmundo...

The first

Love this pic!!

I had to take out the picture...
there is nothing i should remind
my heart is in love.. but i should forget

Piedelmundo...

Tell me now

this is the poem... is so beautifull 

but 

i cant ask you for what it says..

If you're ever going to love me
love me now, while I can know
All the sweet and tender feeling
which from real affection flow.
Love me now, while I am living;
do not wait till I am gone
And then chisel it in marble--
warm love words on ice-cold stone.



If you've dear, sweet thought of me,
why not whisper them to me?
Don't you know 'twould make me happy
and as glad as glad could be?
If you wait till I am sleeping,
ne'er to waken here again,
There'll be walls of earth between us
and I couldn't hear you then.



If you knew someone was thirsting
for a drop of water sweet
Would you be slow to bring it?
Would you step with laggard feet?
There are tender hearts all round us
who are thirsting for our love;
Why withhold from them what nature
makes them crave all else above?



I won't need your kind caresses
when the grass grows o'er my face;
I won't crave your love or kisses
in my last low resting place.
So, then, if you love me any,
if it's but a little bit,
Let me know it now while living;
I can own and treasure it. 

This is not mine... 
but i love it

Piedelmundo...

I love you

but my heart will continue beating for you 

my hands will cont trying to reach you 

my lips will cont waiting for your kisses 

I WILL CONTINUE LOVING YOU 

IF YOU LIKE OR NOT 

I WILL BECAUSE I CANT AND DONT WANT TO FORGET OF YOU 

i will stop bothering you when u tell me to do that 

other than that ill cont!! 

then move to a cave where no e-mail can reach you 

or to the moon and i will write on the earth that i love you for you to see that every night

Lyrics for you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c0a9HLj40iQ

I have a poor heart

sometimes broken, turned off

 but never gave up

surrounded of paperboard stars, i lost my ilusion of an Angel to come, 

raise me

and ask me to love him 

suddenly a lucky day i met you 

you came across my way 

now i believe the destiny

to have you 

for ever with me

but more luck is to love  you and you to feel the same 

voices say this crazy love 

doesn´t have solution

that your world 

and my world don´t 

that your wolrld and my world don´t 

surrounded of paperboard stars, i lost my ilusion of an Angel to come, raise me

and ask me to love him 

suddenly a lucky day i met you 

you came across my way 

now i believe the destiny

to have you 

for ever with me

but more luck is to love  you and you to feel the same 

suddenly a lucky day i met you 

you came across my way 

now i believe the destiny

to have you 

for ever with me

but more luck is to love  you and you to feel the same 

but more luck is to love  you and you to feel the same...

a stupid SAD smile on my lips... now im doing what i didnt do when i could...

 and you must be thinking...

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE!!! 

I should be studying, law history, reading Antigona of Sofocles,preparing my classes, watching nuremberg judgement movie

but my heart is not logical and my mind is off... 

im missing you...

pray for me to get healthy... then ill be at work  and college busy and wont bother you

someone asked me if you were that handsome or rich for me to be crying all the time

i replayed 

no, he is not that beautifull for the world... but for me...

is an Angel 

he doesnt need to smile 

because he is the happiness himslf

he is not covered of gold 

but he is made of gold 

and there is no way for me to stop crying 

if he is not with me

if  happiness is not with me

yes... you must be mocking on me and thinking 

as u did many times 

yes, cry... 

but i preffer that instead of feeling all this and die without telling you 

Piedelmundo...

                          

Convos...

Sometimes i´m out on the street, out of my reality

talking with you

having those long conversations... 

i imagine you smiling 

and replaying with your particular 

phrases...

then i come here to my space 

in the earth

then i realize 

i was just in a trip in my own mind...

today when the doctor put the patch on my eye 

i thot of u looking at me with this...

laughing out loud 

and i ran home to show you

then i reminded 

there is no more Alan for me 

no more laughters of us...

and i...

I am sorry i came in to your life to give you lots of bitterness 

but I am more sorry for me

I cant forget of your smile...

maybe one day you´ll find those things that makes me feed a stupid little hope 

but for now... 

let me tell you 

I love you 

and if one day 

u decide to say hi 

in a one, five , ten, or a million of years 

I´ll respond with a smile

because as my mom said... 

he found the love of his life

i did too... 

the difference

mine... is you!!

Piedelmundo...

Dreamed of you!!

I dreamed of You...

I was at work and I came out because I saw you standing out there

I tried to say hi 

but u were quiet and mad 

i saw my hand  alone and started to talk and  to apologize 

then after a couple of words my partner Kelly called me 

I had to go back to log in 

I started at her then continued watching you there 

I asked why youre so mad?

and why u were there if you are so mad at me?
but you didnt respond... 

i felt to cry 

and i got up... 

Piedelmundo... 

someone from somewhere

Convinced nobody read me 

i guess, feel and want  to say wathever is in my mind...

today i was in classes, my teacher went with a shirt peach color

i was thinking of you, as usual, and i think you would look so good and hot 

in a shirt like that...

Laws introduction, was the class of... is nice, i like but i come home so late

when i was coming in the bus i thot, i wanted to find you here as the reward 

after a work and studies day

mmmm... dreams have no charge!!!

then i thot of those oportunities you used to call me and talk to me till i fell asleep.. 

pieces of glory i enjoyed 

and now i just wish

as something that wont happen in this life or the next... 

so, no run to die

i wont have u after

 Tears are words that need to be written

Paulo Cohelo

then i have a lot to tell you everyday, 

every moment i realize i wont have you again

every hour i need your voice, your laugh, your smile...

every minute i see my face in the mirror and ask myself who stole my smile

and left me these tears that dont let me see the rain out?

who  owns those arms to hug and defreeze my heart

and let him continue beating??

yes, an Angel called Alan

An angel!!! 

someone who lives in my mind

and i wont touch never again....

Is not easy to cry because is sad and everybody ask stupid things... 

but is so easy to write

when your heart is bleeding 

words come 

in your case is not just inspiration 

of a insane mind 

is every minute i loved, love and will love you

because it was real

i dont even need to erase to find better words

all comes at once...like tears and with tears!! 

Piedelmundo