miércoles, 19 de septiembre de 2018

PERDIDA

Perdida...
Es la palabra que vino a mi mente a esta hora de la manhana cuando despues de esperar por media hora por una entrevista por telefono y con desagrado pero muy amablemente dije: No, ahora ya me encuentro a la salida de mi apartamento ya que estuve esperandote por media hora y tu llamada no llega si no hasta ahora.

Con un cigarro en mi mano, sin reconocerme a mi misma ni a mis recien adquiridos habitos, no puedo sentirme mas si no PERDIDA... ese efecto del cigarrillo de estar pero no estar, de tratar de encontrar la salida de mis propios pensamientos que vienen mas y mas a mi, tratando de organizarlos todos sin exito alguno, lo unico que me aliviaba hasta ayer por la tarde era la certeza de estar en una relacion con un hombre excepcional y repentinamente todo cambio, no se por que enciendo el cigarrillo y lo beso como el unico remedio a mis males hoy... 

Perdida entre todas la voces de mi mente, tantos proyectos que deseo terminar, tener que esperar a las respuestas cuando tengo el acelerador a fondo.

Perdida, mirando a mi alrededor sin saber donde estoy ni hacia donde voy... las lagrimas no me acompanhan ni la musica y este cansancio de tener que ser la mas fuerte cuando me derrumbo por dentro, se que no estoy sola, pero me encuentro en ese limbo de no poder hacer nada.

Lamento que mi escrito sea solo un monton de letras mal encontradas, pero es como me siento...

PERDIDA!! 

Piedelmundo...

sábado, 7 de abril de 2018

That man...







     



   

 












  


  







                                                                       






  





                                                                  



  




  


                                                 


  

 



   

   


  



  
   


    












One or a million times, in my past I cried and dreamed about that man...
gave him a ton of names and faces
heard his words every night,
then I woke up and faced the nightmare of the reality of the moment.
and cried beating myself, telling myself to try to keep that nightmare happy
to not be alone...
A million times left those nightmare with faces and hard judgements for me.
A million times decided to live first.
A million times looked back
and thought...
There is not for ever curse or a body that can handle it...

Once or a million times went back on my own words, my images
A million times shared my face with a smile trying to find hope.
and another million times more found that pain behind my eyes.

But Once, yesterday, after a bunch of days without even giving a little sight to this page.
Once by accident, because I was looking for some pictures.
I came here and found all those words, all those tears, all the wounds.
and cried again, for that pain, for those lessons I had to learn.
for those horrible years, (2013, 2014 the worst,2015 the nasty).
I, still, don't understand and ask to my self how or why they wanted to kill my spirit and mind?
But... It doesn't matter anymore!!
Yesterday, while letting my tears, like waterfalls, come out of my eyes
because of that pain I allowed to be given to me.
That man...
Appeared in front of me...
Kissed my eyes saying





- Don't waste those tears, they are precious, and I want to save them for those moments when we are so happy we have to combine them with laughter.











That man...
The One I dreamed one or a million times in my past.
The One I was hoping to find everytime I was walking away from every living, named nightmare.
That man!! 
After seing me crying over my writings, kiss my tears and exchange them for smiles,
That man, once again, confirmed He is the one I was waiting for and trying to find 
That one Dream I wanted to find on those years of hopes and nightmares.... 
He sent me a message:

 











   



     

 



        


     




      













**Butterfly wings brought you to me.. a whisper in the desperation of having that someone. the kind you think may exist... but then you laugh at your own silly thoughts... how?... Where?... Impossible, and just accept what stumbles into your path... then that voice raises, not to be ignored anymore, and you know you must find that ONE, ... and you pray harder and more sincere than ever... and God brings her on butterfly wings... she lands on your life ... and your soul is filled.
love at last, happiness... clip this butterflies wings... she must never have the need to fly again**

Then I remembered how I flew around flames trying to make those nightmares happy and got almost killed between their hands like a horrible insect but...

That man... is mine now, my reality, my life
Now I can fly around him, 
drink the nectar from his lips
laugh with him
Enjoy life 
fear the time to go away without enjoying it enough
and LOVE! 

Well... See Ya!! 
My sweet reality just got up... time to LOVE! 

PIEDELMUNDO!!