No Merece Nombre...

Despues del licor, un par de tonadas y cuatro pasos mal dados...
el castigo de tener que abrir los ojos y saber que no fue una horrible pesadilla que quedara sin haber sido compartida.
peor aun, quedarme con la memoria y estar consciente de haber estado consciente.
ni por el clima
ni por la gente...
podria tomar el siguiente par de alas para volar lejos de la locaci'on y no regresar jamas
que sea una visa aplicada para que yo deba volver 
una visa que no pueda obtener 
pero donde esta la llave magica que me ayude a borrar mi mente?
hago un movimiento mental para calmar mi mente y moralidad 
Pudo ser peor
al salir sacudiras el polvo de tus pies 
nisiquiera miraras atras 
prometeras nunca mas volver 
y prometeras tomar tu vida como viene 
seras confinada a una casa fuera del mundo 
lejos de la civilizaci'on 
donde no tengas la necesidad de alicorar tus sentidos
donde las tonadas solo sean los cantos del viento y el mar 
hasta que logres purificar tu corazon 
y logres callar tu mente sentenciosa 
que por siempre te recordara cada uno de esos momentos 
que no fueron horribles pesadillas que se quedaran sin haber sido compartidas

Piedelmundo...

My Life In a Backpack

When I was a little girl, the idea of going out for days filled my mind with an infinite number of questions as what would we eat? where am I going to sleep?, etc... 
Once we went to sleep on the beach and the experience got to be something I can`t, really, recall; I was sick and we were nervous of me having an episode and then having to run back home or at least to find a doctor. 

When I got marry at my 18 years old, I moved to another town, far from home, alone with another kid  and four big bags with all my stuff.
Coming back home, still married, I carried one backpack and a little purse, my husband  followed me months after with the other things and more gotten on those 3 or 4 months spent in that fake new home town where I found the reality for an 18 years old, married woman.

Some years after that, when I was decided to be a confined wife, mother of a couple of beautifull kids we jump to a new adventure, moving to another country... 
I left behind all my things; washer machine, stove, bed, kids beds, millions of kids toys, etc... 
An entire life got left behind because of the great idea of having a better life... 
What A Better Life!!
At least I left that comfort zone of being a desperate house wife who didn`t love her life but thought there were anything else to live.
Then I saw everything around as I can live without or I can live with.
A life after messing all my life and messing it again and again, I took all my things, or at least all the things I thought I needed, filled 4 big bags again and returned to my own country.
Lived in slow burningtown for a year, and flew to my own city found a job and new people who got to convince me of growing roots there, got a few of things but lived looking by the window for the day when I find my way out of there and  him (the one who will love me, who I love) a free, happy soul who I can trust. I found my steps comin back to burningtown. 

But a month ago, I filled my little backpack with some stuff I would need to live, feeling nervous and insecure left the house, but came back before I expected. left my backpack filled with all the stuff with the stupid hope of leaving before I expected but... one day I came back and emptied my backpack to fill it with daily things for little trips, watched that backpack there calling me, asking me for a date to leave, thought about selling my soul and step into a new adventure for a week, a month or a life, but, but, but... 
I promised to myself I would wait for..., my words, 2 years? hhahahahaha yes, sure!! hahahaa but I don`t want to have to deal with a new asshole for now,  then... mmmmm??
Do I want to contact him? or him? they are always on a rush and I have things to do for my own... I don`t need to live for someone else I have my own life and troubles.

That is not the subject... 

From my recent, recent recent past, Oh Come on, listen to your self V "PAST" I got a bunch of things that filled my mind, a bussiness, a partnership, laughter, JOKES, JOKES, STUPID JOKES. then what?? a flight ticket.  mmmmmhhh... my backpack jumped on my lap...
Without filling it again I started to think about anything else and left the bag on the floor for later, 
Jokes, more jokes, rules, and jokes then... my own mind working  Jjmmmm 

I, still, looked in my bag and I just need some clothes and I will be ready to leave... 


I have my basic life in a backpack.... I always thought about that people that is jumping from one country to another as a homeless comunity... can I be a part of that? What would my family think? what would the people say? would I survive?

answers... I don`t know
                nothing different of what they already think
                I don`t care... 
                I don`t think

At my 40`s I have my life in a backpack...


Piedelmundo!!! 

Stop The Time

On that situation of being in the same place, trying to avoid any thought, walking and moving as an insane person, jumping, running and yelling to get away of my mind, even contaminating my life with lots of information. I have to check the time and the time is running... then I check it again and is going even faster.
But me, my body, my mind on this bed; this feeling of being trapped. All the noise out there those minds on their own time, all the life out there while my mind runs in here trapped in me, in this situation, in my device that shows me how the time flies while my life yell for a minute out for a second in silence, death!

Stop the Time and let me breath
Kill me, STOP THIS SHIT!!

Piedelmundo...