Simply UNFAIR!!

Today my children had the interview for a tourist visa at the USA Embassy in Bogota, Well... they got denied...

But it is simply unfair, when I applied for my K1, or my husband did, they appeared listed on the beneficiaries but we didn´t fill the applications for them since they´re already adults, they study at universities and work... How could I every think of make them stop their life and bring them with me, no... but I want them to visit me, enjoy certain things they haven´t see and know this country during their vacations..

Actually, as my daughter told me, they got interviewed by the same officer that gave me my visa, who I told to I was not making the application with my children because of the facts I mentioned before, so... even more unfair... he knew from before they were not coming to stay illegaly but to simply visit, but he said... wait 2 years and then she can apply for your residence... REALLY?? what part of they dont want to come to live he didn´t get?? didnt even see the proves.. 

Now I just hope I can get my status straight to what we want, then I will be able to visit them, also hope they dont get marry before they finish their studies so I can bring them here to make their specializations and apparently live! 

Is so UNFAIR...  At least my husband is so comprehensive and good, he is already planning on going back to visit them!! 

See ya later

Piedelmundo

Happier than ever!! 

Sin Registro!

Sin imagenes,
sin futuro...
la contemplacion de un momento en silencio 
cuando te abrazo por la espalda para agradecer tu tiempo 
agradecer tu cuidado prestado 

Sin archivo 
sin registros
ni recopilación de lo existente, 
solo la evidencia, lavable, dejada en la piel 
esa combinación de fluidos y calor 
un par de miradas gritonas en el silencio...
ese momento grabado en mi mente mientras pueda 

Sin imagenes
sin futuro 
una sonrisita callada mientras volteas tu rostro 
y festejo el tenerte

Sin registros
escribo estas letras sin nombre 
sin imagenes 
solo la memoria de algun anciano dormido a un lado del camino
solo el recuerdo de tu aroma y del mio
y el sonido callado de nuestras risas ante el mundo que imagina 
pero ignora 
que nos ve y se pierde en la mentira 
si no tienen la evidencia lavable de nuestra piel 
y no escucha los gritos de nuestras miradas


Sin Imagenes,
Sin Registros, 
Sin futuro...



Piedelmundo...

Quiero depurarte en un par de lagrimas, pero no te quiero tanto...

Quererte...
quererte??
si quererte... ni se a que hora, y maldigo el momento en que haya sucedido
con gusto regresaría los meses, tener el aviso de estar en peligro de irme en busca de los gases intestinales de una mariposa.
por que eso es quererte... irse tras un fantasma, un sonido lejano, un aroma que me golpea cada que apareces y me hace cerrar los ojos en la añoranza inconsciente de que ese aroma me perteneciera pero es tan ajeno y tan compartido como un trozo de playa o  un atardecer romántico en algún lugar del mundo.

y ahora debo enfrentarme a la absurda situación de tener que depurarte, por quererte, y  no te quiero tanto para formar un par de lagrimas, te conviertes en un nudo en mi garganta y en mi estomago, un grito mudo cada noche por quererte y un montón de letras que no querían salir para no decirme a mi misma que te quería.

Con gusto me sentaría con el café matutino a mirar lejos y pensarte, sentir estas ganas de llorarte y dejar correr las lagrimas por mis mejillas derramándose en  mi  café hasta dejarlo salado pero no te quiero tanto para lograr depurarte en un mar de lagrimas y una eterna depresión, en su lugar me quedo con este triste enojo que no se si es contigo o conmigo... triste por tener la necesidad de llorarte... enojo por que es lo que debo sentir, contigo por ser quien eres o conmigo por estar en esta situación maldita de quererte, loco, indiferente a mi y lo que pueda sentir, por haberme preparado para disfrutar a tu lado todos los segundos robados que mas pudiera y estirarlos para quedarme con nada...

Haciendo el recuento de las veces que te he maldecido me quedo maldiciéndote sintiendo como me cae de vuelta esa maldición si desearía borrarte del planeta y salir caminando sin pensarte, en su lugar vuelvo a alimentarme con las risas que me das y espero ansiosa un beso como si fuera el primero, que hasta escribiéndolo sueño con volver a tenerlo.

En esta tarea de tener que depurarte para deshacerme de estas ganas de llorar y este maldito enojo, esta situación que me hace ser la mas grande de las estúpidas por quererte, por haberme creído ese par de palabras mientras trataba de callar tus labios maldiciéndote, en esta tarea de olvidarme de lo que nunca he pensado y que no se como se pudo filtrar este sentimiento tengo que pensarte y aun pienso en esos momentos futuros que le añadirán mas tristeza y enojo a mi estúpido sentimiento de tener que quererte pero sin quererte lo suficiente para lograr depurarte en un miserable par de lagrimas... 

Piedelmundo...

Retomar los besos...

Si al terminar con un amor
un amorío
un tormento o lo que sea...
se pudiesen recobrar los besos
recobrar las palabras
esos abrazos
quitar las caricias
y retomar las miradas...

Si tan solo se pudiese sentir ese retomar de todo
tener en nuestros labios esos besos nuevamente
y borrar las huellas de una piel

Iríamos por la calle mirando las personas
y comentaríamos con el de al lado
si de tal o cual persona recuperamos todo
cuan gastados quedaron nuestros besos
 o si no fueron utilizados siquiera

Si tan solo se pudiesen recuperar los besos
esos 5 que te di ya los tendría de vuelta
esos poquitos abrazos
ya estarían en un cajon
pero no es así...
y debo dar por perdidos
mis preciados besos
un par de tardes queriendo amarte
y un millón de miradas acompañadas de todas mis risas 

Te llevas todo eso 
que no tiene valor alguno... 
para ti 
pero para mi...

Piedelmundo...

That, Your Fear...

U look at me... silently
and I can read that fear...
what if...
a couple of words and the same gesture I show
to the world...

that, your fear
of me to get in love with you...
as you were that great man
who feed my mind and soul...
but as before...
too much for our skins...
nothing for our souls

You look at me silently
and I can read that fear...
why not?
I ask to myself...
and staring at you
feel your fear coming on me
and the necesity to leave the environment
the necesity to forget the taste of your sweat
I dress my smiles again
cleaning my body of you...

Reading all your fears
I feel to throw on you all what I think
how I feel about
and what I want
for my life
but...
to feed your fears
all that comes out is a warm smile
and a couple of words followed by a childlish face.
to what  you respond with a kiss on my forehead
saying... 
No, little chinese girl...  
don`t look at me like that... 
or I will fall in love with you! 

Fear of me getting in love with you...
Fear of you...
fear of the world to find out about this
fear of us to fall in this nightmare

U look at me
and I can read that fear...

Piedelmundo...

No Need To Complicate...

I run by your side 

thinking it would be as the pace of 

some Reggae... 

but what I find is a rush...

Those lips talking and picking me up 

That smile... and the form it has

in front of the world, 

those wings...

I open my hands for you 

and after trying to get freedom 

after trying to buy a ticket to a weird world

with the pace of some Reggae ... 

I take your smile

your sights 

your stress 

and offer 

no complications

a short moment for two 

that freedom you can enjoy in a kiss 

I can`t give you the sky 

or a star,

Can`t promise or believe this will last for 

more than a couple of hours every time, 

I don`t overthink 

don`t dream 

just live... 

enjoy your time 

exchange laughters with you 

and continue living...

get surprised with your words 

and continue living...

knitt a moment 

live it with you 

drink your kisses 

cover my body with your hugs 

fly away from the earth 

trying to go with you 

but your mind 

stress and complications 

There is no need to complicate

I don`t need a future with you 

I need you in the present moment

I don`t need the sky 

if you can`t fly with me 

don`t need you thinking of me 

when you`re far from me

want you to stop thinking 

when you`re with me 

and enjoy eachother with me...

Open your mind and forget about the world... 

let life to be good with you

and enjoy

Piedelmundo!!! 

In My Blue Bubble...

While I was thinking about the tittle for this writing and thinking how I wanted to be in my Blue Bubble... thought how many times I would use the same tittle for different kind of writings... 

I don´t know, but "In My Blue Bubble" has to be the tittle for this writing... Is where I wanted to be today, In My Blue Bubble, hiding my tears, not placing on my face a stupid smile for the world... just needed to hide myself here, out of the noise, out of the sight of the world...

Smiling and singing
as every day...
singing loud to the world
stealing a little of happiness 
wearing those greetings for the others... 
walking on the street breathing my freedom

Smiling and singing
As everyday... 
but suddenly 
that big sun came to my face 
to burn my eyes 
showing me the reality...
I took my pink sunglasses and got them on 
continued smiling 
thinking I would continue stealing that happiness... 

Smiling felt my heart folding and trying to get in my pocket 
to be safe...

Got in that long day of documents, calls, reports 
and other things to do...
untill that tweet....
Yes, that sound of my device... 
and that name...
and a chain of messages 
that stole my smiles
a river of fears and tears 
feeling all the drama inside of me
got the question...

What do you want of that relationship?
What are you looking for on him?

And that answer...

We both are afraid of our lonelinesses 
we both deal with eachother  
to avoid having to deal with our own minds saying we are alone...

And me... what I want of him... 
his tongue telling me the truth 
Is the only one I can trust... 
but...
nothing else... 
Is that enough?


Considering to die alone
I´m here... hiding In My Blue Bubble, where the world can´t see me and judge who or what I am... the world can burn out if I am safe here... 
where I can cry my words and thoughts... 
where I´m myself and the world can´t reach me...


In My Blue Bubble!! 

Piedelmundo...

My City...

I had to go to the city I`m from... Barranquilla!
I love my city and I recall when I was a little girl, I used to think I would never move away from there, but I did to a diferent country.., then I thought if I live in Colombia I would only live in Barranquilla... but things changed in my life and now I`m living in a diferent city...

I had to go to My City, because of certain important things I had to do there... and I got to be very excited when I was going, thinking about my friends, seeing the streets, see and enjoy the weather, the breeze... 

When I got there, I had my eyes very open trying to catch every image and every moment in my mind, I breathe deeply and felt that necesity of being there and never leave... 
I was feeling as when one see an EX and think... Oh Gosh, I like you so much, I need to be with you.... but after a while I faced some situations and thought to my self... Yes, now I remember the reason I left you... 

It doesn`t mean I don`t want to be there and if I have the chance to go back there I would say no, but that I saw the reality in front of me... and for an instant felt thankful of what I have Now...

I love my city and want to share with you some pictures of Barranquilla...

Please enjoy them and fall in love with My City!!

Some videos for you to enjoy... of course of  Barranquilla Singers!!

There are more singers from Barranquilla as Shakira, but this is enough for now...

get to know My City and fall in love with and amazing City called Barranquilla!!

Piedelmundo!!!

Some Bubblegum in My Blue Bubble

On this busy world where life is running and I`m trying to go at it`s pace... I try to live every moment as the last and enjoy it as there is no tomorrow...

Then I heard that commercial... "Hahahahaha" a deep laughter that fills the air and makes me nervous and excited... "Bubblegum... sweet, delicious,... Bubblegum... Juicy... Bubblegum"... I couldn`t stop laughing and feeling the chills on my back... that laughter, that voice...  but my life, and the time to run, to continue...

Feeling my breath leaving me... and my energy to zero, then in the air a noise, a voice... a laughter.... "hahhahahahha... bubblegum... Juicy" and my energy is up to 100% again... I close my eyes and try to imagine that face that owns that voice, that laughter that makes me feel nervous and excited, that takes my breath away and raise my energy again....

Bubblegum... Juicy... 

on my 40`s I hear it  and act like a girl... 
run to my room, jump on my bed smile and imagine that face...
that voice ... when I`m to die out of enery...

Get some Bubblegum in my blue bubble and smile!! 

Piedelmundo...

Life is too good to be true...

Sometimes we are  so focused on what happened in our past or too worried about what could happen next... then we lose that present moment...

These days I`m reading a book... Yes, another book, The Power Of Now!! 

I have noticed this book is to be read slowly and meditating every word, is not like those books we read and leave, then I`m reading it very slow and trying to absorb every part... but what I have noticed is that I was on that mood from before... why to worry so much about the future? what will happen, will happen if I worry or not, then I better enjoy what I have now and live with a positive mind, sometimes we give for granted certain things but it is only necesary a little second for everything to change then, we should not give anything for granted, even if its good or bad...

Now I`m enjoying the fact of writing a couple of letters to a friend without expecting anythig back, I enjoy sending nice voice notes to another friend, watching what is around me when I`m out or even if I`m in the office or in my room... I look around, enjoy and feel greatful of what I have... If I have to cry I let my tears fall, and  might think ¿why? but I know they are teaching me how to appreciate a smile and have wider smiles and loud laughters when I have them.

Got a ride on a motorcycle, the traffic was terrible and I got nervous, turned the mind on for a couple of minutes thinking what if... then I decided to enjoy the moment, enjoy the ride...

After some days, having,  some, non positive situations, today I broke one of my  tooth, I cried bcz I don`t like the idea of having my teeth not looking good, then, still crying, I thought... at least it happened today when I`m going to see my dentist, I was very nervous about but when my dentist saw me he had that big bright smile and gave me a nice greeting, heard me,  treated me as I was his daughter, laughted at me being nervous and made me feel good again, I went back to my office with my teeth fixed and a crooked smile bcz of the anesthesia... I had a busy day, going everywhere to get things done ASAP, and after all I was coming home very tired thinking about what to eat... then I feel my phone ringing and that notification that made me jump on my toes and smile of happiness were there... Heee... after that those little naps and more smiles for me...

Life is too good to be true... since I decided to enjoy the present moment, every nap, I`m living!!

Happiness doesn`t mean to don`t be able to cry or have hard times... 
Happiness comes in little bites 
Happiness is to live and enjoy the present moment!!


Piedelmundo!! 

Taking naps...

To take a nap is to go to sleep and let the life pass while you decide to close your eyes to the reality... or is how I see it... I hate to take naps or I did... I know I used to do it but it was because I wanted to let the life and time pass hoping to see a different reality when I open my eyes after the nap... but the reality was even worst, then I thought... Ok at least I had the chance to scape from this for a couple of minutes...

Sorry is the truth... I didnt like to take naps... I did it to scape! 

Now days I`m getting up at 5 am then exercising, go to work on a busy environment where I don`t have a minute to rest, then come back, exercise more, prepare for the next day, try to read... make a little of social life and try to go to bed early enough to rest... I take little naps when my body is not able to continue... let the meditation to be longer and take a nap then... is crazy, I`m tired then I take those little naps...

And I love them... I love my naps!! 

Living a dream on a present moment, I didn`t want to wake up, I wanted to continue dreaming, laughing and enjoying the sweet flavor of whatever I was having... 

But as I called the situation... It was a dream... not thinking about the reality or the future, just the moment of being able to laugh and enjoy what was in my hands... 

A dream that had me smiling and dancing all over the place..ç
the sounds of music 
the breeze playing with my hair
a kiss waiting 
a hug 
and that endless laugh...

a dream that got tired of being a dream... 
then, the waking up
now... facing the truth
all the silence around
the white walls 
where is not a word 
bcz it was a dream...

Now I`m taking naps 
when some music comes 
naps that make me smile
once in a while...

Piedelmundo!!!

Don`t Wake Me Up...

What if one day from somewhere a sound comes
and it is an amusing sound
that makes you fall in the most pleasant dream 
where life is perfect and the moments are those slow blue bubbles jumping all over
where the smiles are the language and tears come bcz of laughing...

Don`t wake me up, not yet...
wait till the last moment when the alarm has to go off
wait till the reality shows the inminent time to stop dreaming

but while that happen...
Dont wake me up
let me smile
let me laugh
let me live this dream 
that my reality is so cruel 

Don`t wake me up... no yet!!

Piedelmundo...

Ninguno de los anteriores...

Hace algunos dias recibi una pregunta que rezaba "Y buscas activamente un novio?" ante tal pregunta me quede perpleja y mi pregunta a mi misma fue.... (esa mala costumbre que tengo de analizar y contestar con otra pregunta) y como seria si estuviese buscandolo pasivamente??, la cuestion es que fue la respuesta que plasme... pero no es de lo que vine a hablar, sino de la situaciòn creada en mi enmarañada mente...

Activamente buscando novio... eehhhmmm sera buscarlo de manera activa, entrar a una pagina de citas, contactar personas que estan lejos y que seguramente jamas vere en persona y crear, (por asi decirlo) un vinculo regular... si eso es buscarlo activamente pues,,, Si me encuentro buscandolo activamente

Despues de analizar la reflexion anterior, que fue sacada de mi conversaciòn conmigo me dedique a analizar los vinculos...a ver... 

Un rato de agradable escritura y mayor conocimiento con la certeza de que no me interesa nada mas de ese ser desde que me di cuenta que no es mas que un mentiroso que no es capaz de mostrar su rostro tal cual es...mmmhhhh yo diria que no...

El rechazado anterior que me hace sentir como vaca de feria pero que me hace reir de a ratos con cada ocurrencia, balbuceando español y haciendo caras... eehhhmmm siguiente...

Un par de lineas reportando un estado de salud... un poco de amabilidad y los mejores deseos hasta la siguiente vez... hahhaha... 

Un chorro de desaparecidos traidos de todas partes del mundo y un idioma en comùn... haaa.

Y hasta ese dulce sueño, que no se quiere dar cuenta o no quiere aceptar su pertenencia a la mujer a  

quien dejo... dulce trozo de caramelo blanco, nuevo soltero... aaayyyyy....

Y ni para que sigo enumerando...

Activamente?? si claro... tan activamente que ya se como sera esa terraza donde me siente sola a disfrutar de mis amaneceres y atardeceres, matando yo misma mis insectos y hasta mi entrenamiento corporal lo voy diseñando para cargar mis propias bolsas sin extrañar la ayuda de mas nadie... 

Activamente... si claro!! tan activamente que puedo decir abiertamente NINGUNO DE LOS ANTERIORES...  no tengo tiempo para los dramas ajenos, no me quiero sentir como una vaca en venta, Y muy desgraciadamente los sueños... sueños son!!

Asi que ACTIVAMENTE  se las dejo ahi...

Piedelmundo!!

Everybody Lies

After being hurted by a couple of big liars...  the second worst than the first... I think twice every move I`m going to do and watch closely on every word and every move... 

Is not that I`m living in the past or that I`m full of bitter but that I don`t want any more lies in my life... I can get along with people that has problems, that is not that good looking, that is old or young... I don`t have problems with that type of things... but what I can`t stand are LIES! 

What I always say is.. pls I`m begging U, don`t lie to me bcz those lies will hurt U more that me... 

But I`m totally convinced, Everybody Lies...

As Everybody knows I`m divorced, on my 40`s, I have a Job, I`m studying and I`m looking for someone that will be the one who I want and choose to share coffee every morning and every afternoon in the terrace of my house, he has good, intelligent conversation, times of laughter, a positive mind, kill cockroaches and always has a kiss ready for me... then I`m on a dating site trying to find him, Hope is the last thing to lose, I get some likes and some messages... 

I check on those profiles and there I start finding the lies.... 

If you are 50, a picture of a 19 year old kid wont help you... or yes... but is a lie bcz who see you is interested on that 19 year old kid not the 50 old man who is hiding his reality...

Yes, people should get attracted to what is inside of someone, who that person is not how the person looks but if you don`t show yourself at least in the couple of days after meeting someone, and keep showing who u were but how u look now... is a big lie that will end in a breaking, not because of your reality but bcz of the LIE! 
if you lie on how you look, your age, your weight, your status... then what is left? 

Unfortunatelly: 

                                           EVERYBODY LIES

Ok... I`m silently leaving this here ...

Piedelmundo!!